Are you talking to me?

See I thought we were having a conversation but now I am not sure since you keep reading and replying to text messages. Why would you ask my opinion and then only give me about 20% of your attention as I answer you? If those text were about your grandmother who is dying with cancer I could understand having to answer them the second they come in but they aren't.

It is your boyfriend texting how much he loves you for the hundredth time today, or your friend asking what you are wearing to the party tomorrow night.  I had a cell once upon a time and I loved texting for a reason. You wanna know what that reason was?

It was because I could find out what people had to say when it was convenient for me!

Honestly there is a time and a place for text messaging and it isn't when someone is trying to interact with you face to face. Some people are just way too "plugged in" these days. Don't bitch that I never come to visit  you when every time I do you spend the entirety of my visit at your computer playing on facebook.

Oh and while I am bitching why on earth can you not just SPEAK to the person on the other end of the couch? Do you have to text? I was taught that it was rude to whisper because other people in the room may be uncomfortable thinking you are whispering about them. You know what same goes for texting. If you want to have a private conversation with your friend GO SOMEWHERE PRIVATE. Texting them from 4 ft away is the equivalent of whispering in public.

Your life isn't that interesting

I love to talk. Face to face, on the phone, even online. I like it so much I even talk to myself on this blog. I like listening to other people talk as well. A good story can make my day. My Friends always have an ear for tales of stupidity on behalf of their husbands or offspring.

What I don't want to hear is a conversation I have no part in. Brief snatches of conversation in a mall or restaurant amuse me. Especially if it is something that kinda makes me wonder. I once was waiting for a movie and heard "You'd swear my clitoris was the Holy Grail the amount of time it takes him to find it". It left me with a lot to ponder while I waited for the movie to start.

I can't stand people though who talk so loud I have no choice but to endure their entire conversation. I think the amount I am exposed to this increases accordingly with cell phone sales but it could just be that I am getting bitchier by the year.

While strolling the aisles of the grocery store debating between Tostitos or Doritos I don't want a play by play of your grandmother's hysterectomy, your child's bowel movements or your husband's affair. However if I have to hear about it then I think I should be allowed to give my two cents.

Flaunting your dirty laundry in public is asking for input. Even if that input is that you are an attention seeking whore (hey you discussed at 80 decibels not knowing who the dad would be if that pregnancy test in your hand came out positive) you have no right to complain about it if you opened the can of worms.

There is a place to discuss things that are nobodies business but your own and that is in private.

So think twice before discussing this in public. Use your indoor voice and remember if you don't you may forever be used as a bad example in cyberspace.