Sunday, March 25, 2012

why yes, my friends were raised in a barn

I did an experiment and it turns out as much as we claim otherwise human beings prefer to be in a dirty home.

This is a great revelation on a few levels.

1) if you don't want company, just clean like the queen is coming. Never, not once, have I swept, scrubbed, and scoured every surface in my home only to have unexpected company arrive while it still smelled lemony fresh.

2) If you are lonely or in a funk just stop cleaning. Yesterday I did no housework, I didn't even wash dishes. My floors had three kids worth of dirt on them, and my trash can was over flowing. I had NINE count 'em NINE unexpected guest last night.

Now I am not basing my conclusions on one occurrence. This has happened countless times in my life. To the point I want a sign that says

My house was clean yesterday
sorry you missed it

 Not only do I GET more company when my house is a pig stye, they stay longer. If a friend does accidentally wander in on a tidy home I can almost guarantee they will be gone again in 5 mins. However if it smells vaguely of 'eau de what the hell is that anyways?' they will stay and chat for hours, then ask to see the baby's room .......