Dont confuse Crazy with Stupid

Einstein said "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"

That seems kind of insulting to insane people. In fact it sounds more like stupidity to me. Actually it is the common love child of stupidity and laziness.

Once upon a time I used to just hear my friends and family bitch and whine. Thanks to the advent of social networking now I get to hear EVERYONE whine.

My teachers hate me
My boyfriend keeps banging sluts
my job sucks
my kids don't listen
No one but me does housework


I could fill this whole blog post with examples but  there is no need. if you are intelligent enough to have mastered literacy you can probably think of a hundred examples all on your own. As if anyone cares.

Now there are times the universe truly screw you and I am all sympathy then. You got Parkinsons ... man that sucks. How can I help.  Your kid has a brain tumor, I'm here for ya. House burnt down, I have an extra room. Your Boyfriend is out banging sluts AGAIN while you are home with the kids. Nah that's your OWN stupid fault for putting up with his shit.

See people like to bitch and moan about how hard life is but rarely want to DO anything about it.Yeah change is a lot of work but nothing in life is free.

Are you really stupid enough to think if you just wait like a good little girl (or boy) that everything will change and come up roses.
Wishing upon a star never made a woman less of a victim. I tire Iron can but not a wish. 
Waiting for your good Karma to kick in so you can get a better job? Yes I would like fries with that.

If you want a better job then DO SOMETHING to earn one. 
If you want more money DO SOMETHING to earn it.
If you want to be treated with respect DO SOMETHING to earn it
If you want your kids to behave DO SOMETHING about it

For fuck sakes people this is not a hard concept. Is this where participation medals and 'everyone is special' philosophies have landed us?

In the era of the Internet! Finding a solution has never been easier. You don't even have to leave your home.

Stop asking when things will start looking up for you, and start climbing! 

Oh Canada

It's Canada day weekend

So here is a crash course on why Canada is awesome. And for the 5 Canadians who read this blog you just get a free ego strokin ;)

Now Canadians in general are not a braggy bunch. In fact it took BEER commercials back in the 90's to really get us started on flag waving 

So we developed some national pride. And a few more awesome commercials swelled our heads some more. 

That's right. Catch us on a bad day and we will kick your ass hockey style. Generally though Canada is pretty good natured.

We are a trilingual country. Our official languages are English, French, and Satire.Check out some Royal Canadian Air Farce, or This Hour has 22 Minutes sometime. If Swift had the choice he woudl have been Canadian I am sure.

We are a country that actually believes in equality. We are where the slaves ran to. Where the Loyalist took off to. Where Gay doctors and other professionals are headed because they never have to worry about the next election rendering their marriage invalid. It was us that took in the young men who didn't want to die in Vietnam and gave them safe harbor.

We believe that  no child should die because  mom and dad can't afford a doctor.  

So some say we talk funny 

Well maybe we do.  Have you ever heard someone from Newfoundland  speak?Understanding someone from the bay is an art form. Great people though. I spent a decade living in Newfoundland. It was great because I LOVE to talk. I love talking so much I talk to myself on here. Anyways Newfies are friendly but they all tell stories like Bill Cosby. This bit by Shaun is so spot on I nearly pissed myself laughing 

And when someone from Prince Edward Island wants to start a fight you will damn well know it

Ok so I am picking on the Maritimes here but only because because that is where I live.

But all of Canada is awesome. Our National Anthem is kind of lame but Classified classed it up a few years back. 

Seriously I hope you listened and didn't just skip that song. It is awesome

We have the best Animal mascots in the world. A BEAVER. That's right, we love beaver up here in Canada. We also have a moose. Yummy yummy moose. 

We have awesome food 

Kraft Dinner 

Poutine

Fish and Brewis (ok so that one is nasty but lots of peoepl like it)

we invented Instant potatoes.

You know what else came from Canada 

Basketball, 

Insulin

The Telephone

Nanimo Bars 

Walkie Talikes (think how lame your childhood woudl have been without Canada) 

Snowmobiles

SnowBlowers

Gas MAsk

Sonar

Lacrosse

Ice Hockey 

Trivial Pursuit 

The electron Microscope 

pacemakers

and (your welcome) THE WONDERBRA 

Oh yeah. We made a lot more than that but you know, like I said earlier we aren't real braggy

So now that you want to be canadian I will give you some tips. 

It is Kraft dinner NOT Kraft brans macaroni and cheese. 

It is cheese whiz not cheese spread (no matter the brand. You can buy no name cheese whiz and Kraft dinner up here)

You must prefer Tim Horton's over Starbucks.

If you hate hockey you still have a favorite team

We have a Primeminster

Our politics are confusing to those who didn't grow up here so this is Rick Mercer explaining how shit works in Canada 

And remeber the most impotrant thing about about being Canadian 

SNOWBALL FIGHTS

Seriously America ?

Why is a Kinder Surprise egg (shown below) illegal in the United States but a fully automatic assault rifle with armor piercing rounds is ok?

I mean sure a kid COULD choke on a kinder egg if the parents don't watch them but these same idiot parents who don't supervise their kids can own guns?

REALLY???

This is what your lawmakers do with their time?  I mean not even making this about gun control

In what universe is a chocolate covered toy so dangerous that it needs to be more strictly controlled than fire arms?

 How much time and energy does Border Patrol exert ensuring no one smuggles in these high risk toys for young children to enjoy.


When is the last time a disgruntled postal worker went on a killing spree by lobbing kinder eggs.

Terrorist don't throw then into busy subways

Gangs don't chuck them out the windows during drive bys killing toddlers

Seriously America. Your priorities are FUCKED UP!

Stupid people are breeding .....

I just ran across this post on Facebook. 

Is pretty grossed out and will never be drinking pepsi and probably never pop after reading about them using the fetal cells from aborted babies in there flavoring!! Pretty grossed out!!

Seriously? you believe this? for even a second .... god I wish I could unfriend you!

If only there was some way you could just type in a few key words and get all the information you wanted about a subject without even leaving your computer. Any techie people want to help me design one, I am thinking of calling it "Google"  and then maybe after that we could create a fact checking site and call it something crazy like "snopes"

Seriously I am so tired of these fear mongering post being passed around. It makes me scared because most of the people doing it have reproduced or will someday, I am starting to wondering if there  has been some prolific inbreeding in my area over the last few generations to cause this spike in stupidity?

Lets take fact checking right out of it for a moment. Do you REALLY think a company as profitable as Pepsi would do something so STUPID  to endanger their earnings? Common sense tells me this is bullshit, fact checking just gave me proof of what a moron you are.

 If this was a once in a while thing I could probably handle it. Last year it was a craze over an influx of "poisonous caterpillars" well the picture of this new and deadly species that had invaded the area was the same as the pet I had 15 years ago, checked with dad he he played with them as a kid too, in fact his pet brontosaurus liked to eat them. 

There was people freaking out over babyfood recalls, if you read the article it affected food on another continent , every week it is something new. Once ina w hile I get taken in too, but some people I just want to set their home page to www.snopes.com