Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Caitlyn Jenner wanted to be a woman more than I ever have

 Caitlyn Jenner put in a lot more work to be a woman than I ever have. In fact she put in a lot more than I would be willing to do if I was told I had to do it in order to stay a woman. 

I am saying this as a cisgendered woman (I was born with a vagina). Being a woman is just not that important to me. I have cursed it many times in my life. I can't even be bothered with most girly things like makeup or shaving my legs in the winter. I remember a brief period as a young teen of longing to have breast but once they were there I no longer really cared about them.

I don't have all that much of my identity wrapped up in being a woman. My gender may be a huge part of how other people see me but it really is not that big of a deal to me. well at east 75% of the time I feel that way. When I am on my period or when I was pregnant all bets are off and my life revolves around my uterus.

For  Caitlyn Jenner to go through what she has in an effort to be the person she is today her gender has to be important to her. It would have to be nearly all consuming. 

In all the backlash that I am seeing people keep asking "why would a person do that to themselves". The fact that so many of us can not truly wrap our heads around what she put her body and life through to be who she is today should be enough to tell us how badly she wanted this. She wanted this more than I ever have and yet I am treated as more deserving of feminine pronouns.

She wanted to be a woman badly enough to go through painful surgeries and recovery.I sometimes wear padded bras and consider the under wire a personal circle of hell.

She wanted this so badly that she was willing to risk loosing friends and family.
Her gender means a lot to her. For me it is not necessary to understand WHY she wanted to be a woman. There are lots of things about friends, family and strangers I don't understand. Hell I will never for the life of me understand how my children can watch videos of someone else playing minecraft. I don't need to understand. All I need to know is that it makes them happy and they are not hurting anyone. 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

We are better than this Canada

Yesterday something horrible happened in Ottawa. A solider was shot and killed.

It is always a tragedy when someones life is taken by violence. In this case it was also shocking because the solider was not embroiled in combat but standing guard beside our war memorial.
This is the second solider who was attacked in Canada by Terrorist.

Both attackers were Canadian men. Obviously all Canadian men are insane bloodthirsty animals who should be treated like the criminals they are and be put on terrorist watch list and not allowed to gather in groups.

What? You think that sounds crazy? So how is it that so many people think it is OK  based on the fact that both attackers were followers of Islam to paint all Islamics with a wide and hateful brush?

I saw THREE separate people share this link today on FB. It calls for the shutting down of all Mosques.

Hate begets hate. These individuals are fueled by hate. They are vindicated when we go on the attack. When we start treating innocents like criminals it validates the proselytizers who say that we are the enemy.

Yes ISIS is scary. Terrorism is terrifying. We all want to find a solution.

 If I based my opinion of Christianity on what I saw in the news then I would think they were all  Pedophile, homophobic nut bags who bomb abortion clinics, Shoot doctors, and let kids die instead of getting medical treatment. Hardly a fair depiction.

Most people (myself included) recognize this as stereotyping and failing to apply logic. These abominable acts were perpetrated by individuals who happen to be Christian and are not indicative of the average Christian you will meet in the streets.

Lets extend the same courtesy to Muslims. Don't let your fear cloud your judgement. They are also Canadians who are suffering right now. If they want to gather at their mosque and seek solace lets not try and pretend it is any different from a candle light vigil at a church. They also have sons and daughter who serve in our military, they also have children and loved ones they fear for.

In fact I think they have more to fear than anyone else. Not only do they need to worry about their lives being shattered by a lunatic with a gun they need to be afraid of the current cries for so called justice I am hearing. They need to be afraid that because they were born into a religion that is currently unpopular they are being viewed as the enemy right now.

Notice the words under the statue

Canada is supposed to be a beacon to the world. We preach tolerance and peace. Today, for the first time in my life, I felt ashamed of my country. I was ashamed that we are allowing fear to splinter us and make us hateful. I am ashamed at the amount of hate that fills my social media streams. I am ashamed to see us becoming part of the problem.

We all have a choice to make. As we face this tragedy together we need to decide.

Will we fuel the hate that caused this
Will we reach out and show them that we will not break and we will not abandon our ideals. We will not become the rage filled monsters they want to portray us as. That no matter what, the Canadian ideals outlined in our Charter will not waiver. We will not uphold it only in times of convenience but also in times of turmoil 

Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:
  1. freedom of conscience and religion;
  2. freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
  3. freedom of peaceful assembly; and
  4. freedom of association.

We are all in this together

Friday, May 30, 2014


The #yesallwomen hashtag is getting some flack. But there are something we hear/do all the time that most men never have to deal with. 

Because if you go out in public dressed like this "you're asking for it" #yesallmen


Because if he really didn't want it he would not have led me on by letting me buy him drinks all night #yesallmen

"She wouldn't have been able to overpower you if you took self defense classes" #yesallmen 


Because I have to be aware of my surroundings at all times #yesallmen 


Because I have to text my friends to let them know I got home safe #Yesallmen 


So much of what we do is part of our daily lives that I, Speaking as a woman don't even notice it anymore. I see articles online about how to prevent yourself from becoming a victim. I don't leave drinks unattended, that is ingrained in me. When talking to a strange man I re-position myself so he is not between me and the exit. I save the pic a friend sent me of what she was wearing on a blind date and where they planned on going  in case I have to file a missing person report in the morning

I do all these things because I live in a world where I am more likely to be raped than get a promotion.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Christmas with no commercials

I have seen a lot of post on social media from friends who live away complaining about the commercialization of Christmas. About kids who were not grateful, about burnt turkeys.

Locally I have seen ZERO complaints. And we are heading into day four of a power outage for many people. Some will not get their power back until after the new year.

What I have seen is businesses opening on Christmas day and employees volunteering to work to provide the best Christmas they can for those who are struggling.

Restaurants opening up and offering free turkey dinners to those without power. Hotels offering free showers and a place to charge electronics. People loaning out or giving away spare generators. Friends and family spending the holidays in the house with power or wood heat.

For Christmas dinner yesterday we had hamburger helper, cooked in an electric frying pan powered by a generator. No complaining, not even from the kids. A lot of electronics that could not be played with were opened in many houses, with no complaining.

So for every post about people not having Christmas spirit or the holiday being too commercial, I say people have no one to blame but themselves.

Christmas happened in our town. It happened in many others. It happened because friends, family, and strangers MADE it happen.

People sacrificed in both large and small ways to make it the best possible for as many people as possible.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

There are 2 kinds of sexy

I am going to use the boys from Supernatural for an example. If you haven't watched the show it is ok. Watching it is not necessary to understand this post. Oh and .... spoilers probably

Ok so on the left is Sam and on the right is Dean. Keep in mind that everything I say about their character from here on in is about SAM AND DEAN not the actors who portray them.

A week or 2 ago I was playing around on G+ and my husband was watching Supernatural on Netflix. during a lull in online conversation I turned to the tv. My husband and I have been together 13 years so he is pretty good (usually) at reading my face. Apparently he had seen my Hubba hubba  face.

He made a crack about me watching the show  now that I ha seen a hot guy. I will admit to being a bit shallow and that he was right. Eye candy gave the show an edge over G+. What he was wrong about though was who I thought the hot one was, at least at that point in time.

See he was referring to Dean and my eyes were glued to Sam.

Sam (for me) was the kind of sexy most of us want to be. What that sexy looks like is different for different people but it does the same thing to all of us.

Sam was the kind of sexy that grabbed my inner Neanderthal  by the uterus and screamed procreate. It was a visceral reaction.  He had physical traits that I gravitate to.

 Dean was moderately attractive possibly even average in my mind standing there next to Sam.
A few days (and goodness knows how may episodes later) everything had changed. Physically the boys still looked the same but Sam just wasn't doing it for me at all anymore.

Tall, broad shoulders,very square face, long legged.

Allow me to illustrate .... repeatedly

Yet even with all of THAT in his  favor had I been stuck in a room with that character in real life I would have kicked him behind the balls.

He is SUCH a whiny bitch so much of the time. Yes your mom died, and your GF. Your dad was preoccupied an not very good at nurturing. You didn't get the life you wanted. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.

He is so damn angry all the time and when he is not angry he mopes.

So as the show progressed I found Dean significantly more attractive although I am still willing to concede Sam is a fine physical specimen.

Why is Dean the more attractive one to me now. His Character. He is not good at taking shit from people. I mean really does this LOOK like the face of someone you want to fuck with?

 And he actually has a sense of humor. In fact he has my favorite kind of humor ... inappropriate
 He is driven and determined to get his own way

So while Dean is an uberdouche an not physically as good looking as Sam at the end of the day his character is the more attractive of the 2.

And guess what there are women out there who feel the exact opposite. who are attracted to different physical and mental traits than I am. In fact I have heard a friend describe guys as "too tall" words that have never crossed my lips.

I did find Sam attractive again once he lost his soul. He very much became a single minded machine

and now I will end with gratuitous eye candy that serves no purpose

Sunday, May 26, 2013

I'm hunting Elephants DUH!

I was reading a book on my lunch break when a co worker sits down next to me and says "Whatca doing?"
So I set my book down and told her "I'm hunting elephants"

Ask a stupid question right?

What about me sitting there reading invites people to try and strike up inane conversation? 
what are you doing? (hunting elephants)
what are you reading (I will hold it up and show the spine) 
Is it any good ( obviously or I would not be reading it) 
have you read anything by ___ (probably) 

When you see a person with a book the POLITE thing to do is ignore them.  I was there first, alone, and reading. Not my fault you chose to look for conversation in all the wrong places. 

I read to ESCAPE the mundanity of daily life. I only have a 15 minute break to travel to the world of make believe. Keep your damn reality away from me before I beat your ass with a hardcover 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Facebook and fake ass bitches

So just in case any of my FB friends ever Google my name and stumble across this blog let me just preface my post with this

Seriously if your feelings are that easily hurt you should probably just drop your internet connection

I am sure it happens on all social networks bu I notice it mostly on FB, probably because I know people IRL and can call them on their fakeness.

Lats start with parenting.  I thought I was the only one who got pissed off at people pretending to be perfect parents. Turns out I am wrong. Nearly half of moms admit to be stressed out by their inability to keep up with the parenting perfection they see displayed on FB, instagram and pintrest. Seriously I don't make this shit up.

I don't get it. I figure moms who have all their shit together are either lying or heavily medicated.

I see so much parenting fakeness.

Please don't post about how you did crafts with your kids and cooked an elaborate dinner and cookies from scratch. That doesn't change the fact that you were snorting lines of percocet the night before.

Don't post about how family is so important to you and you would not change a thing about your life if you could. Do you really expect me to believe that given the choice you would continue on unable to identify your baby daddy? THAT is your ideal?

Oh and seriously don't post about how your kids are the most important thing in the world to you when you abandoned them for a sex partner. More than once. Fuck that noise.

If all you ever post is a sales pitch trying to convince me your life is perfect I suggest you invest the time in therapy instead trying to figure out why you are so invested in convinces the internet you are something special.

So yeah fake ass bitches who play super mom ..... seriously if you never want to strangle your kids once in a while you obviously don't spend enough time with them.

And then there are people in perfect relationships.

yeah seriously I don't care who loves who more! get it off my home page and go wash his dirty underwear for a few years and then come back to me.

Seriously you are NOT that in love. I watched your last 3 breakups and reconciliations on FB. And that was just this week.

And don't even get me started on 14 year olds talking about forever. Trust me dude, someday she will just be someone your current GF is jealous about.

While I am on the subject don't post your breakups online. Seriously if you are on FB calling him names and airing your dirty laundry I am going to guess you are MORE than half the problem.

Oh  yes love is in the air. You know what else in in the air unsolicited advice.

Nothing makes my day quicker than a cliche printed in comic sans across an unattributed picture. Except sarcasm. I do love me some sarcasm.

Seriously do you even READ what you post? Take your own advice. Don't post about serenity when you are the single biggest drama creator I have ever met.

I have noticed most people are better at posting advice than taking their own. Here is a novel idea get your own shit together before you start trying to fix mine.

Facebook is not the place to try and convince people you have your shit together. Save that for a website with some anonymity. Most people on FB know you in real life, no one is buying the shit you peddle