Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Geeks are cool .... you're a poser

"So Jill said you were a geek, I know we will be best friends then because I am such a total geek too! I love Harry Potter I read it like twice"

"What's Dumbledores full name?"


"DUMBLEDORE! what is is full name?"

"Um, Albus?"

"Wow I think I would rather gouge my own eye out with a spork than be your friend"

    Now Knowing Dumbledore's full name is not exactly a prerequisite to being my friend, it's Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore if you were wondering, but if you are going to try to establish your geekhood based on HP it seems like something you should obviously know. Most diehards memorized it by accident.

In case your wondering that was pulled from real life conversations. I am a geek and I make no bones about it. The things I geek out about may have changed over time but my basic inner Sheldon has remained.In Jr high and high school I was a theater, chess, and choir geek. Books and music were my life with a bit of rugby thrown in for anger management. 

Now I am a book and music geek who runs a bi weekly game of D&D, plays magic the gathering, and gets more excited by a spirited, yet civil, debate than a naked Colin Farrell (ok well maybe that is a toss up) but my geekness remains an integral part of me.

The problem (?) is that somewhere along the way being a geek became cool, I used to think I wanted to be cool but now I have changed my mind. People pretending to be what I am annoys the shit out of me. It is bad enough I have to live in a world surrounded by idiots but now they are pretending we have something in common. It is kind of insulting. 

Sunday, March 25, 2012

why yes, my friends were raised in a barn

I did an experiment and it turns out as much as we claim otherwise human beings prefer to be in a dirty home.

This is a great revelation on a few levels.

1) if you don't want company, just clean like the queen is coming. Never, not once, have I swept, scrubbed, and scoured every surface in my home only to have unexpected company arrive while it still smelled lemony fresh.

2) If you are lonely or in a funk just stop cleaning. Yesterday I did no housework, I didn't even wash dishes. My floors had three kids worth of dirt on them, and my trash can was over flowing. I had NINE count 'em NINE unexpected guest last night.

Now I am not basing my conclusions on one occurrence. This has happened countless times in my life. To the point I want a sign that says

My house was clean yesterday
sorry you missed it

 Not only do I GET more company when my house is a pig stye, they stay longer. If a friend does accidentally wander in on a tidy home I can almost guarantee they will be gone again in 5 mins. However if it smells vaguely of 'eau de what the hell is that anyways?' they will stay and chat for hours, then ask to see the baby's room .......

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Stupid people are breeding .....

I just ran across this post on Facebook. 
Is pretty grossed out and will never be drinking pepsi and probably never pop after reading about them using the fetal cells from aborted babies in there flavoring!! Pretty grossed out!!
Seriously? you believe this? for even a second .... god I wish I could unfriend you!
If only there was some way you could just type in a few key words and get all the information you wanted about a subject without even leaving your computer. Any techie people want to help me design one, I am thinking of calling it "Google"  and then maybe after that we could create a fact checking site and call it something crazy like "snopes"

Seriously I am so tired of these fear mongering post being passed around. It makes me scared because most of the people doing it have reproduced or will someday, I am starting to wondering if there  has been some prolific inbreeding in my area over the last few generations to cause this spike in stupidity?

Lets take fact checking right out of it for a moment. Do you REALLY think a company as profitable as Pepsi would do something so STUPID  to endanger their earnings? Common sense tells me this is bullshit, fact checking just gave me proof of what a moron you are.
 If this was a once in a while thing I could probably handle it. Last year it was a craze over an influx of "poisonous caterpillars" well the picture of this new and deadly species that had invaded the area was the same as the pet I had 15 years ago, checked with dad he he played with them as a kid too, in fact his pet brontosaurus liked to eat them. 
There was people freaking out over babyfood recalls, if you read the article it affected food on another continent , every week it is something new. Once ina w hile I get taken in too, but some people I just want to set their home page to www.snopes.com